My Wolverine Man

Ok, that last post was an accident. Whoops. Hey, you know about the poop guy blowing up the Sun and whatnot? Well, I decided against the idea. He can blow up the Moon if he wants to. My wolverine man will blow up the Sun with a giant needle full of green poison. Then of course we'll all live in Snuggies underground- OOHHH! And all the criminals will be thrown above ground to freeze! But wait. Who will dig the holes? Hmmm.... maybe my dad. They would need to be close to the center of the Earth, so we could be warm and cozy. I get on to that. Just give him a thermos of hot chocolate with whipped cream, and he's on a roll! My wolverine man is pretty cool- he's a mutant. He's also my BFF. He has really long claws. The red eyes are sort of creepy, and that's why I bought him a pair of dark sunglasses for his birthday!!

Oh, just a reminder, he will get to work in about 7 days, (it will take him 4 days to blast to the Sun) so everyone remember to buy your Snuggie! It is pretty cool, because they come in multi colours. I know, right?

FANTASTIC MR.FOX ROX YOUR SOX OFF!!!!!

BT (burnt toast)

This post is an accident.

Please do not take any notice of this post. Just think of Telus ads. (Aren't they awesome????)
See ya.
BT

Nutcracker Ballet

Whoever made up the term 'ballet' probably lived 56,000 years ago. Like, have you ever thought about how stinking old the stupid dance is? (No offense to all those ballerinas and ballerboys out there [is that really what you call boy ballerinas?]) Anyway, my mum, sister and I are going to see the Nutcracker ballet. My brothers are seeing Fantastic Mr. Fox. NOT a ballet. Wouldn't that be weird, a bunch of little animals, prancing around in tutus? Haha. I tried to be a ballerina once, at school. My friend is a ballerina, and lets just say I failed even more than I failed at being a vegetarian. (I had a delicious sausage the first night. BY ACCIDENT.) How is it possible to fall on both arms and both legs at once? Seriously, I think I pulled something that day. BUT maybe I can't do ballet, but I CAN do clapping routines! =] =] No. That's mostly my mum. =] =] But I think clapping routines are pretty cool in their own way! Ok, I'm gonna do SpellCheck now. They said I spelled 'ballerboys' wrong. Also 'haha', 'Ok', and 'SpellCheck.' But I like how I spelled spellcheck. It's pretty cool, so I'm not changing it.

My mum bought this totally awesome glasses case for her PHONE!!! I really want to steal it, but I'll have to wait until she's out running or something. It's sparkly silver and totally gigantic. I'm staring longingly at it. But then I just spelled longingly wrong. Darn. Plus, she doesn't even have glasses! But I DO!!! Golly!

Luv Burnt Toast. (My new name)

A Little Note on Flossing Part II

Why flossing, you may ask. What's the point of putting string in your teeth? Yes, it can be useful if, for instance, you have gigantor teeth (like me) and have just eaten corn. On the cob. It's not the most pleasant look to have like, yellow bits in your teeth!

Did you like my picture last post? I like it a lot. AND... EYE WAZ TEH WON HOO POOT ON TEH EYES AND MOWTH!!!! WOW!!! (oh, and the eyebrows.) Er, the comment, on the last post, that was actually my mum. NOT me. Just so you know.

OH!!! Do you like my new look? I think it rocks. Especially how it's green. And other colours. Not just navy. Not slamming navy, but when something is the colour of my uniform for school, (Eurugh....) I'm not all that fond.

Do you like the picture? It's my hammy star again. (I wish. Oliver is much fatter and he is usually seen with his mouth full.) Maybe this is him as a baby! Ok, here's another one... wait for it... Ok, never mind. The computer isn't letting me.

See ya.

My mum made me write this. I really thought it was a waste of time, seeing as I am a busy girl with much to do. Lots. Much. Whateva. Seriously, I could be climbing Mt. Everest right now, but nooo... wee baby Joouls has to print in her itty-bitty bloggiekins! There are hundreds of things I could be doing, just to name a few, (mostly to take up space) eating a simosa, wreaking my mum's camera, figuring out how to hack into my principal's private computer, washing my hands with candy-corn flavoured soap to prevent H1N1, setting the house on fire, digging a hole to China, trying to figure out how to do magic, and more!

Ok, here is a picture, because that is just the kind of techie I am. Isn't it awesome? Soon this little fella will grow up to be big and strong, and then take over the earth, blow up the Sun, and we will have to all live underground in Snuggies with our families. The end.

HEY!!!! I forgot to tell you!!!! I got a hamster!!! Wow!!!! His name is Oliver. James. Or Ollie for short, but he prefers Codwall. He also prefers it when I don't touch him much. =[ This picture was taken when he was just a baby, and he is much er, larger now. Especially when he has just shoved a full half bowl of food in one cheek!

Some facts. 1. he loves apples. 2. his record is pooing 27 times in one bath 3. he has only bitten a human 4 times. 4. his ears are abnormally large 5. he has a girlfriend called Bellatrix.

ok, I'm done now.

Halloween is here!

And that means creepy decorations. And THAT means nightmares for the next month about ghastly corpses coming out of the ground to strangle me. =O But, I'm being Tinkerbell! No creepiness there! With my lovely green leafy skirt and dainty little tiara... how lovely. No faux graveyards, no dead people coming out of the grass, apparently coming to life again. (oh!) But.... who am I to complain- a full months worth of candy! (if I save it, that is.)

Do you love my photography skills? Nah, that's actually a sample picture from my computer. =] But lets just say I did take this, and I can put 'photography' on my official list of skills!

Ok, see you l8r, alligator.

J.

Harry Potter...

...Rules. I'm on my 9th round on them. Yay! And GUESS WHAT ELSE??? I, Julia I'm-Not-Telling-You-My-Last-Name is writing a prequel to the Harry Potter series. (had trouble spelling that. =] ) I'm quite amazed at my own brilliace. I think I could be the next... uh... whats his name again? Hmmm... well, like the guy whose name starts with an 'E'. Albus Ebenstratford, or something.

Do you think that I could go on reading Harry Potter over and over again for the rest of my life? Cuz that's where I'm heading. Next thing you know I'll be in jail. But- maybe if it turns out that magic DOES exist, then I'll be all set! (Don't tell anyone, but I even have a wand and everything.) =O Oh darn, gotta go.

Piano practice, ABC's of Life Project, (mean face there) cleaning of the hamster's cage, and... AAHHHH!

Bye.

I am an Angel...

...So sayeth my mother. Little does she know. Mwaa haa ha ha ha!! Speaking of angels and heavenly sort of white creamy linens and silk stuff that I am so prone to wreak (whoopsie!) I am starting a new, clean school year. 182 full days to be terrible and very evil. JK. Just kiddin'! I'm so sweet and elegant and cherubic that I make my BROTHER look devil-ish. Not that that is saying much... you kind of lose a large chunk of your trust and love when you get hit in the face with a BB Gun bullet. But that's okay.

School is fab. Seeing all your friends, all your enemies... getting to torment them for another whole year... glorious, glorious, times. But... not everyone welcomes homework and normal work with the same open arms. The novelty wears off after 4 hours and 7 minutes. Which sucks. We work for 7 hours a day, why should we be forced to work even more?

Anyways... live long and prosper. (As a faithful Star Trekker)

Jules

Ice Cream Rocks

A lot. Especially egg nog flavour, or raspberry cheesecake. That makes me remember- we're having tuna casserole tonight. Not exactly ice cream flavour worthy, but I think it's pretty good. I don't know when I had tuna casserole last. Hmmm... Never mind. I find myself ranting again. Oh shucks. I've been trying to stop that. I guess Drama Camp didn't help on that front.

Guess what. I have two surprises for me. (or you, if you like reading about good things happening to other people.) WAIT!! Actually, 3. Surprises. Number one: In exactly 4 days, I am leaving this planet for EDMONTON! (that means 76 bucks to spend on junk at West Edmonton Mall) Exciting, huh? Number two: on Saturday, I'm leaving this planet to the waterslides! Yay! With my bro and former TA (don't ask) Number three: TOMORROW... I;m going to Birchwood Dairy! (note the title) All those fabulous surprises are very happy for me. And you, I guess.

Well, it's 6:48pm, and we haven't even attempted to consume this FABULOUS tuna casserole that yours truly has created. I can almost TASTE the- well- tuna-y flavour of this delicous dish!

Yum.

Drama Camp

I am perfectly cut out for Drama Camp. I'm dramatic, (not as much as my sis, though) and VERY intelligent. Haha. Last time I told people I was intelligent I spelled it wrong. That didn't make the best impression. I have been there for 3 days and counting, now. It's really fun. I enjoy it to the fullest. Most of all, it's only a half day. That's good, cause I don't like camp ALL darn day. TODAY we had PEACH juice and weird bars with dried grapes in them and carrots. I LOVE peach juice, and the bars were good... kind of...

Now I'm home though, and completly forgetting about ANY sort of camp. Just thinking about the $2.00 worth of candy that my mama bought for me today! Woo! (At the Clayburn Tea Shop, $2.00 buys you A LOT of candy.) I ate it all. And don't even feel sick at all! Good...

Summer is fun, but it can be BORING. Not that it's boring this week, with playing an old senior called Bertha in a play and all, but occasionally, it can get B-O-R-I-N-G. So, I check my MSN every 5 minutes and go to the washroom even though I don't have to go. So... now I have to go to the washroom! (for real this time.)

Don't have too much fun without me.

TODAY

I am utterly mortified to show to the public a post with the title TODAY. Alas, you probably need one of those at one point in your blogging career. I know I do. And furthermore, I should probably start telling ABOUT TODAY, note the title. Well, today...

I'm not that good at describing current events in a very hilarious way. Maybe I should just rely 100% on Junie B. Jones's sense of humor. I don't know. Maybe not. I think it would be too obvious that I used a fictional kindergartener's sense of humor. See, at this exact moment, I am SEARCHING my brain to find something quirky and funny all on it's own. It's not working, obviously. Well... TODAY. That's hard to expain when it's 8:30 in the morning and everyone is STILL in bed. Notice how everyone is ASLEEP when I find time to write? I'm an early riser and I fall asleep REALLY quickly. Really.

Why is it that I have to start a whole new paragraph to write about today? I thought I already did that, but of COURSE I completly miss the point and start ranting about complete other things. I hope you enjoy that kind of writing, because that's what you're gonna get. Ok, today. Well, as you can see, I've gotten up early to make breakfast for all my siblings. Probably just toast, because if I make anything else, then I'll probably end up burning it. I could even burn the toast. I could burn PUDDING if I wanted to. Then I'll pour some coffee for mom, and maybe (probably) pour some for myself, (mwa ha ha ha ha ha!) then lounge around the house with my teeth and hair unbrushed, still in my pajamas, and drinking 4 steaming mugfuls of caffinated coffee. The joys of summer.

UNLESS of course, some authority figure comes and yells at me to get dressed. (aka: mother) Actually, I usually lead my readers to believe that she is some sort of monster-alien creature, with yellow teeth and rancid meat chuncks coming out of them, and a temper like there is no tomorrow. She is not. Sorry, folks, for disappointing you like this.

I will probably (Hey! Notice how often I have used the word, 'probably' here. PLUS: I have 'probably' spelled it wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME!) end up going with plan A, because plan B doesn't have an ending yet. Yet. Ok, here is the ending. I end up getting dragged to someplace like... uh... Frank and Susie's Blissful Meat Shoppes! Woot woot!

You know what I think I should be able to do? I think we should be able to go BLUEBERRY PICKING. Oh yum. And for LUNCH, we could have CHICKEN ALFREDO PASTA! Oh... double yummers. And we could stay there all day, eating chicken alfredo and blueberries. Fab.

Summer is one of the best times of year. Because it is so HOT out. Mind you, 30 degrees is NOT good in MY books. The weather doesn't care about my books, though.

You know, my mom was reading my blogs, and they didn't sound AS funny as when I was writing them. Like, she kept a straight face the whole time, and so did I. I thought I was being hilarious, but then- like- it WASN'T funny! ~Sigh~

So be sure to laugh

A Little Note on Flossing

Ok, so here I am again. Sorry, but WHAT are you supposed to do at 9:00pm when everyone is asleep and YOU can't go to bed because you feel guilty about sleeping while you're babysitting. Don't think that I will be writing TWICE a day, because I'm not. I was just reading over what I have already written, and I see that I have been coming on too strongly, because... I just seemed harsh. I'm NOT going to apologize, though, so you can set your poor mind to rest knowing that I will NEVER apologize, no matter WHAT I've done to so offend you. Just so you know.

Now, as you can see quite clearly, the title of this post is 'A Little Note on Flossing'. I am going to now tell you ALL ABOUT flossing, to fullfill that. First. Don't follow my footsteps on the art of flossing. Follow my mom's. I NEVER floss, although I probably should, and probably will, after hearing this little story. You wanna hear it? I can just hear your moaning- waiting in suspense for what I am going to write. Okay, here it is.

Once upon a time, here in my house, a lady was brushing her pearly whites. (ok, they weren't pearly white. They were like, kind of yellow.) Then she started flossing. And she dug up out of the cavities in her tooth, and RANCID MEAT CHUNK! Yum! The end

I don't like rancid meat chunks. They are grossish. Ish. So, now the moran (sorry, moraL) of this story is... FLOSS EVERY DAY OTHERWISE YOU WILL GET LOTS OF RANCID MEAT CHUNKS IN YOUR TEETH! So... I'm off to go floss my PEARLY WHITES now. Bye.

Live long and prosper.

Meatloaf is Anything but Mundane

Ok, I have to say- I didn't come up with that title. My mom did. I am trying to be unique here, but that's hard to when you don't even know what 'mundane' means. For all you people like me here, mundane means ordinary. Unlike me. Or meatloaf. Come to think of it, neither are gumdrops. Not that I want to be compared to meatloaf. Please, compare me to a graceful rose or something lovely like that, and notice how I greatly out-grace that flower. Or out-something whatever amazing quality that something has. Notice my beauty, notice my elegance in my writing. Notice that I only have one paragraph so far. Wait- that's not a good thing, is it? My first post. Thus concludes the section in which where I elaborate upon how wonderful I am. Just so you know.

This, to me, is much better than writing a story. Because, writing a story ALWAYS takes SO DARN LONG. It is not FAIR to me and my poor attention-span to take more than 15 minutes to do something I do not enjoy. This is better. But please, don't expect some new post EVERY STINKING DAY. I am NOT that kind of person. Just expect maybe once every 3 days. Expect the worst, I always say. Actually, I never say that. I say lots of things, maybe too much.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle? I am asking this because a)I want to actually have at least one complete sentence here, and b)'cause I just wanna know! The thing is, you can be going about 20 kilometes per hour and feel like you're going 70. It's nice knowing you're not going to die if you crash. Although you'll get a gosh-darned burn on your thigh.

Just in case I become famous someday, (I'm NOT at all saying anything) I think maybe I should post some info about me. NOT personal information, because, as everyone knows, remember in kindergarten? STRANGER DANGER! Golly gee, I remember a lot of things from kindergarten. Like the months of the year song. January, February, March and April, May, June, July and August... I STILL use that song to remember what order those darned months are in. Anywho, info. Yes, info. Oke doke. My ABSOLUTE, INDEFINATE favourite colour is... GREEN! Woot woot! And... I love... (drumroll, please) uh, er... LOTS OF STUFF! Woo! School rocks, my bestest friends rock, I rock, (oh yeah, I'm DONE with bragging about my awesomeness) Games rock, (especially POKER, 'cause my besties TAUGHT me how!) I love to babysit...

HEY! Speaking of babysitting, I have been babysitting today! Lots! But only my siblings, thats fun too, but the novelty of that just isn't as exciting. I don't know why, I just can't put my gosh-darned finger on it. Plus, this one family I babysit for gives me LOTS of junkfood! My parents NEVER give me so much stuff that I have unexpected cramps in my gut for 4 weeks after! Hey! Hey! HEY! Ok, somehow writing mean things on the computer isn't as effective for getting things you want as yelling them so that the neighbours 5 houses down can hear. Stupid life.

Ok, I'm DONE with my first post. So... good riddance, fellow bloggers, and I hope you have nice lives. Live long and prosper. (Get it? From STAR TREK!)

Love me.